New parents are faced with an interesting challenge when they are a Type A personality and learn that they are raising a “free spirit”, Type B child. They find that kids that can't focus, lack organizational skills and are missing the strong drive to succeed that they have can be difficult to relate to and understand. They end up in unfamiliar terrority, and even more so when Type B is their second child.

One couple worried about this problem when their second child developed in  very different ways from their younger son. The young mother was a strongly typical Type A personality and her baby son, a typical Aquarius dreamer.  Since her first son was like her husband and herself, she wasn’t prepared to cope with her little “free spirit”. She acknowleded that he is the sweetest child she has ever met, but struggles with his  space cadet tendencies. A friend of ours had the same problem when their second daughter turned out to be their mirror opposite and was also a second child. It isn’t something with a quick fix solution. While her first daughter would get awards for high achievement and excel at sports and extra curricular activities, they were frequently called to the principle’s office for their second daughter who loved to “push the boundries” in all areas of her life.

Recognizes the personality differences between your children and even yourself and your spouse is the first step in learning new coping skills. Even if your son or daughter is not ADD or ADHD, it is helpful to research the conditions and behavioral accommodations for the disorders, which are marked by inattention, disorganization and seemingly "flighty" listening skills. Understanding that this behavior is brain wired is helpful. Also realizing that all behavior is on a spectrum and while working to move along that spectrum is important, it's equally important to understand that kids have different starting points. You can guide and set expectations for your child, but focus on the notion of inching them along and comparing their progress only against themselves and not against siblings or how you were at the same age. This method helps you learn to appreciate the talents and different perspective that come from our "free spirited" children. They have much to teach us too!

One mom emphasized this point, noting that although her son doesn't share many of the qualities that she and her husband have, it doesn't mean that his qualities aren't good. She mentioned in some cases they might even be better, especially with the way he embraces life!  She said her son is so much more laid back and fun loving that she and her husband. His lack of drive and failure to excel in school isn't necessarily a bad thing. She has realized that it isn’t vital to be a straight A student to succeed in life. She does still struggle when telling him for the 20th time in 1 hour to focus on his homework with not wanting pull her hair out but appreciates the wonderful and special qualities of a Type B.  

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